


Relapse

by wyrmsandrocs



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, M/M, There is no fluff, also anika and pim are there, and its not happy ast the end, and the wylan is just mentioned btw, anyway enjoy this garbage, its just sad because poor kaz and poor jesper, so i live off of angst and love jespers old crush on kaz, this is really just jesper dealing with kaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyrmsandrocs/pseuds/wyrmsandrocs
Summary: He decided that there would be no harm in having a few drinks and playing a hand or two before heading home to Wylan. But then two drinks turned into five and a hand turned into six and he had already been out much later than he had said he would be. Then he heard Kaz’s voice behind him.“I thought you had stopped gambling, Jes.”“So did I,” he said, not looking at his friend.Literally just Jesper dealing with Kaz and his old crush.





	Relapse

The Van Eck house was lovely, this much was true, and Jesper loved living there. He loved living with Wylan and running Va Eck’s business with him. He loved his life knowing that he was no longer lying to his father. But there was still that part of him that was discontent with the safety and surety of his new situation. There was never anyone shooting at him. There was no gambling halls to be lured into. He hadn’t been to the Crow Club in weeks, hadn’t visited the Barrel in a month. He was trying to move on.  
He was failing fairly miserably. It was an uncharacteristically bright day for the Barrel when Jesper went to Kaz.  
“You want a job” Kaz said matter-of-factly, not looking up from the paperwork he was doing.  
“No, I wanted to come and have tea with you. Yes, I want a job.” Jesper rolled his eyes, but a smile crept onto his face.  
“Why?” Kaz looked up now, confusion and something else Jesper couldn’t quite name tinging his eyes.  
“Because I want a job Kaz. You never asked why before.”  
“Yes, but before you needed a job. Now you may never need a job with the Dregs again.” Concern. That was it. Barely there, but Jesper saw it.  
“I still have the tattoo, I’m still a part of the Dregs.”  
“If you really want a job, Pim and Anika are doing some reconnaissance. The Razorgulls are spending more time in Fifth Harbor than I’m comfortable with and they’ve been sent to deliver the message.”  
“A message, really?” Jesper sighed.  
“It could get messy,” Kaz paused for a moment, “it will also make more of an impression if I send my best sharpshooter.”  
“Kaz, was that a compliment! I’m flattered!” Jesper laughed. “Alright, when and where.”  
“Meet them at the Crow Club tomorrow night. I’ll let them know you’ll be joining them.”  
“Crow Club tomorrow night. Got it.” He started to leave but paused in the doorway, “Thanks, Kaz.” And then he headed back to the house he shared with Wylan, trying not to think about what it meant that he had signed up for another Dregs job.  
The next night he didn’t tell Wylan what he was doing, simply saying he was going out for a while but would be back pretty soon. Wylan didn’t question it and just said he would see him later. Jesper felt something twist inside of his gut, like he was betraying the younger boy.  
“Good to see you again, Jesper,” Anika greeted him when he joined them in the Crow Club. He tried to distract himself from the tables running next to him by focusing on the people in front of him.  
“Good to be seen.” He grinned.  
“Now that you’re here, we can get started. We’re meetin’ with whoever the Razorgulls decided to send outside Fifth Harbor,” Pim said, nodding towards the door.  
“I’ve been so out of the loop recently, anything in particular they’ve gotten up to? Any background I should know?” Jesper followed, holding the door for Anika who rolled her eyes.  
“Nothing much, they’ve been snatching pigeons off the ships comin’ in there, but Kaz just wants to make sure they don’t try anything bigger,” Pim explained as they picked their way through the streets of the Barrel.  
When they arrived, they found three Razorgull cronies waiting for them, two of which seemed a bit rattled that Jesper was there, shooting nervous glances at him. He smiled and nodded at them, happy to know that he had a reputation. ‘Of course you have a reputation, you broke into the Ice court,’ his inner voice said. ‘And you’re close to Kaz.’ His smile faltered, but he tried to regain composure. He wouldn’t think about his closeness to Kaz right now.  
The third Razorgull kept glaring at Jesper, even as she spoke with Pim and Anika, clearly unhappy with his presence. Her hands kept moving to the pistol at her side, which made Jesper jumpy, but he was glad for the adrenaline it brought to what would have otherwise been an exceedingly boring mission.  
When they got back to the Crow Club, Jesper found it harder to resist the cards, his need for risk still unsatisfied. He decided that there would be no harm in having a few drinks and playing a hand or two before heading home to Wylan. But then two drinks turned into five and a hand turned into six and he had already been out much later than he had said he would be. Then he heard Kaz’s voice behind him.  
“I thought you had stopped gambling, Jes.”  
“So did I,” he said, not looking at his friend.  
“Put down the cards.”  
“Why should I?” Jesper felt his irritation growing. Kaz hadn’t been to see him at all since Jesper moved in with Wylan. Asking for a job had been the first time he had seen him since then.  
“Because you know this is a bad idea.”  
Jesper was silent.  
“Come with me.” He turned and made his way to the door, not waiting to see if Jesper would follow. Jesper was tempted to stay where he was but thought of disappointing Kaz further, and hurried to catch up. They walked in silence until they came to the slat where Jesper was led up to Kaz’s room.  
“Why are we here, again?” Jesper huffed.  
“Because you’re too drunk to make it home and there aren’t any more rooms here. I’m not having my top sharpshooter passing out on his way home or in the middle of a gambling den. Besides, Wylan would kill me.”  
“I can make it home fine. You don’t need to worry about me marring your reputation.” He turned to leave but was stopped by a gloved hand on his arm.  
“It isn’t just my reputation I’m worried about,” Kaz said quiety.  
Jesper laughed dryly. “Do you know what I would have done for you to be concerned about me a year ago? Six months ago? I would have given anything,” he said bitterly, “to have you worry about my well being.”  
“I know.” His voice was quiet.  
“Of course you did. You knew everything.”  
“What could I have done Jesper?” There was a long silence. “I could barely confess to Inej without messing up and hurting her. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to help you.”  
“Well, that makes two of us.” Jesper’s voice was still unfairly bitter.  
“Jes,” Kaz’s voice was quiet and sad, “I never meant to hurt you. I want you to know that.”  
“I know.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“I am too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i live for comments please let me know what you think!


End file.
